![]() ![]() I felt torn apart, wanting to be a good husband and father, but in severe torment about needing to be a woman. With weekly travel away from home, I easily indulged in cross-dressing, fueling the desire to be a woman.īy the time I was 40, I couldn’t take the pressure of living two separate lives. We say at least because too often these stories go unreported - or misreported.In my work life I was successful, but the girl persona still occupied my thoughts. The Human Rights campaign reported last year, “Sadly, 2019 has already seen at least 26 transgender or gender non-conforming people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. Thanks to everyone who helped answer this week’s question! Cis Ally, I hope you’ll take the advice of these trans folks about how they’d like to be treated because a life could literally be on the line. As someone who’s been outed by (ex) friends as though it’s a deep dark secret, I can’t fully express the pit of depression and lack of self-worth that formed in me. But yeah, never anyone’s job to out anyone else. ![]() I don’t know how everyone goes about it of course, but a lot of 20-30 year old trans friends that I know (mostly women) will disclose that info immediately as to avoid danger and/or a letdown after more emotional investment. If the person they’re being outed to doesn’t take the news very well (read: they’re a hateful bigot), it’s possible the trans friend could be attacked. It might also be worth noting that outing the friend could potentially put the friend in physical danger. Luken suggested, discussing what to do in this scenario first is the important thing. No matter what, they should not out their trans friend. It’s literally never a cis person’s job to out a trans person, and I don’t for a fucking second believe the ‘I’m just concerned’ angle. Kasen Meek, who writes a trans life column for Yes Louisville: /author/kasen-meek Sexuality is fluid and your fear or phobia may lead you to miss out on someone and something really incredible. ![]() No one should ever out anyone else, unless they have consent to do so.Īnd a side note for those people that might be hung up on dating a trans person… Get to know us as a human before worrying about things in the bedroom. Some trans folk are really open about who they are and others are terrified to be outed. Luken’s point that the trans person decides what can and can’t be said about them. (And if you think your friend would be in danger, then you should maybe rethink the company you keep.) Unless their trans friend would be in danger, what does it matter if they are trans? If anything, we tend to be better partners because of our experience navigating the world as female and male.
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